Austin’s Pizza New Nominee #2: Proper Pale Pie

Hello Wicked Glitch! It’s me again, Laura. After a rigorous morning of cookie baking, I’ve come to tell you about the latest Austin’s Pizza I’ve tried as part of their contest to add a new pizza to the menu. (Feeling behind? See my last post here.) Last night I ordered the Proper Pale Pie. It was good, but not something I would order again. Here’s the break down.


A testament to dairy products. When you think of comfort food, I don’t know what you think of, but I think of lots of warm, melty cheese. This pizza packs lots of it. The sauce is alfredo sauce, which isn’t cheese but is a cream sauce. Then you have your usual layers of mozzarella, mildly interrupted by some tomatoes and chicken. And then? Yep, more cheese, feta to be specific. If you were ordering a pizza because you just want that feel-good pizza cheese taste, this is for you.

Michigan’s pizza. So far you’ve learned that this pizza is mouthfuls diary. That may sound boring to you; I would agree. But I recall a summer that I shared an apartment in Columbia, South Carolina, with a roommate from Michigan. Michigan was a sweetheart and the best random roommate I ever had. She also had taste in food that I will describe as “simple and classic.” The Carolina foodscape was a mystery to her, and all summer I acted as her guide. Those giant hunks of meat on the bone that she saw people with? Those were turkey legs, and they were delicious! Those brown paper bags old men carried at baseball games? Those were greasy because they contained boiled peanuts, not booze. Michigan didn’t want to try either of those or many other foods we encountered during that glorious summer, but this pizza could be a way for her to branch out from pepperoni in a way that she would find acceptable. With a name like Proper Pale Pie, maybe that’s who creator Don P. was trying to reach with his pizza.


Alfredo sauce. I was really concerned that the sauce would be too rich and that it wouldn’t re-heat well the next day. I was wrong on both counts.

Chicken. If I’m ordering a pizza where I choose my own toppings, I never, ever choose chicken. Sometimes chicken can be a necessary food component to get some protein in your meal since I don’t know any omnivores who actually really like tofu. On this pizza, the chicken was cooked very well and surprisingly flavorful.


Not a lot of pizzazz. I’ve already touched on this in the pros section since some people don’t like a bunch of vibrant, contrasting flavors in their food. I, however, am definitely not one of those people.

Feta cheese. The feta topping my pizza was crumbled so fine, and the alfredo flavor was so heavy that even the unmistakable taste of feta cheese was masked. I would have believed I was eating powdered parmesan from a can.

Size of chicken pieces. The pieces of chicken weren’t bite size. While they were tender and moist, I don’t know why they would need to be that large, except that maybe smaller pieces would dry out too much?


I ate the pizza, and I enjoyed eating it. However, there are other pizzas I would prefer, and I don’t see the advantage of this one over the existing choices the White Pizza or the Far West, both of which have alfredo sauce instead of tomato sauce, this pizza’s biggest draw.

Like this Article? Subscribe to email updates!